Honestly mate, it's worth sticking with it. You've spent a small fortune, expecting the best, and, to be honest, the iPad is head over heals above it's nearest tablet competitors for several good reasons.
The trick is setting up iTunes on your pc the way you like it, ie, getting all your videos and music in library's on your computer in iTunes the way you,re happy with. It's literally just a case of dragging and dropping media over to your device then.
My iPad is always connected wirelessly. This means it automatically syncs and backs up without me even being aware, then when I want to add or take off media it literally is a simple case of drag and drop.
As I say, I hate iTunes, especially as I'm a Windows user of 20+ years, but it's a lesser evil I,ve gotten used to. I love my iPad immensely, but sometimes minor irritations (like iTunes) have to be put up with.
Then, there,s not much your iPad won't do. You can watch movies and listen to music in almost any format on it for instance. I use my iPad for Word and Excel duties as well. And when you add video Skype and some of the most awesome games on the hand held market into the mix you're onto the market's winner by far.
There are iTunes alternatives and alternatives to getting media to and from your device, but you need some experience and savvy before you go down those routes.
You just need to spend time using and getting used to your device for a few days. Then you'll quickly understand how it operates and the general limitations you're dealing with.