The option to open iTunes and sync when the iPad is plugged in is in the first tab of sync settings. You can only see/change it when the iPad is plugged in and selected in iTunes.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think the default behavior my have changed to no launching iTunes with iOS 7, or maybe earlier. I've always had auto-launch and auto-syncing turned off. I like iTunes to do it's thing when, and only when, I tell it to.
iTunes should still detect the iPad when you have it open and the iPad plugged in.
The iPhoto/camera thing is separate, and usually off by default. I'm not sure if enabling one disables the other, but I suppose it might. It would certainly be confusing for two apps to launch and start syncing whenever you plug the iPad in.