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I'm screwed...

Ooo, fun! This is what happened to me, except I had to make 5 trips to the nearest apple store, where they finally gave me a new one.

Ok. I'm just gonna read off all the things the "genuises" at apple told me to do:
Hold the home button, then plug it into the computer, still holding the home button.

If that doesn't work, hold the sleep and home buttons for 10 seconds, then release the home button and continue to hold it as you plug it into iTunes.

Above goes on for 10 minutes...
If that doesn't work, gl
 
Use iRecovery. You can download it from the chronic dev site. It's one of the greatest tools out there, you can even open a shell in your boot loader. It's amazing. If you do a short search and get some info, you should be able to get out of this problem without losing a thing with only three short commands.
 
ireb just doens't read the ipad

it looks like its DEFINITELY the port.

however, it does charge now, but I can't get the forced DFU to read in iTunes.

Apple iPod, iPhone (2g, 3g), iPad Dock connector pinout and wiring @ pinouts.ru

Look at this... The iDevices pinout. You said the connector inside is in two pieces. Chances are a data pin isn't making contact, that's why you're seeing that. Bottom Line not even the apple geniuses will be able to do anything or figure anything out. Your iPad will go to the refurbished pile, get a new connector, a brand new OS and get sold at Apple's site at 50 bucks less that retail.
 

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