A batchelor is a man who has never chased a woman he could not outrun.
A Conservative is a Liberal who was mugged.
Good, fast, cheap. Pick any two.
A fanatic is someone who won't change his mind, and won't change the subject.
If you take two things, and nail them together in some way they have never been nailed together before, someone will buy it from you. - George Carlin.
"Virus" is a complex medical term used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine."
A mans grasp should extend beyond his reach.
Sex on TV can't hurt you... Unless you fall off.
I really hate it when the voices argue over me like I'm not even there.
A collision at sea can ruin your entire day.
(Collorary) A superior sailor uses his superior judgement to keep out of situations requiring his superior skill.