Could it be that both devices have to be connected to the same router? My desktops are on a wired connection and the WiFi devices including my iPad 1 and 2 connect to a WiFi router access point which is plugged into the wired router. As soon as I disconnect my iPad it is deleted from iTunes the same way that others have described as if there is no network connection between the iPads and the desktop. Both routers are on the same subnet (192.168.0.xxx) so the should communicate but not if they both must be on WiFi.
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