More laughs than Funnies

[Richard Brown]

Hi all

It is great to catch up on the forum posts, the banter etc. However the break was fab. I'm working on the photos.
Not so funny, but I think our aeroplane home had a near miss over Germany. I woke from a nap, and saw an American Airlines jet pass about 1,000 feet below us. I was too surprised to take photo! There was no comment from the aircrew, so is this a common experience these days?

That's beyond funny!

Gloomy bit over. Dubai was fab. Hot, so acclimatised to the heatwave here.

The forum banter prompted my posting here.

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[Hayles66]

Ahh! You are so sweet! We missed you too! I am looking forward to all your photos. I hope you enjoyed your holiday and welcome back. The near misses are probably more than we realise. Best not to think on that too much. We'd never go on a plane again.

 

[Richard Brown]

Try this one.

The Lie Detector

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.

"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John.

"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy.

The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."

"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.

"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.

"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.

The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."

"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."

The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"

The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

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[Richard Brown]

Nature always has a reason. Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and then forget where they have left them.

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[Hayles66]

That reminds me of an email my auntie sent me

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[Richard Brown]

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. A lot of the time age turns up all by itself.

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[Hayles66]

Well, I'm not old, I'm a kid at heart. I don't always act my age and it's probably why I get on so well with the students I teach. They love it when you are being silly or acting out something. They remember that and recall it in the test or exam Nd often come back and say " I remember you doing this or that and was able to answer the question". That is what i like about my job. Satisfaction.

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[Richard Brown]

It all began with an iPhone...






March was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?







I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

Our daughter's birthday was in August so we got her an iPod Touch.







My wife celebrated her birthday in September so I got her an iRon.








It was around then that the fight started...

What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.

This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

I should be out of the hospital next week!!







PS: iHurt!!!

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[Darkstar2007]

Try this one.

The Lie Detector

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.

"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John.

"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy.

The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."

"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.

"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.

"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.

The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."

"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."

The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"

The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

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Omg this is friggin hilarious!

 

[Richard Brown]

THE STORM







They were together in the House.

Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly


and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and

wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her

from the storm.



Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out..... She screamed...

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.

He knew this was a forbidden union and

expected her to pull back.


He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on...



They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand... So consumed were

they in their FEAR that they heard no opening

of doors...just the faint click of a camera......








Have you smiled today?


YES, YOU'VE BEEN HAD........



NOW GET SOMEONE ELSE

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[Hayles66]

My mum gave me this one. It was hilarious.

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[Aa1]

It all began with an iPhone...

<img src="http://www.ipadforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=7561"/>

March was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

<img src="http://www.ipadforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=7562"/>

I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

Our daughter's birthday was in August so we got her an iPod Touch.

<img src="http://www.ipadforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=7563"/>

My wife celebrated her birthday in September so I got her an iRon.

<img src="http://www.ipadforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=7560"/>

It was around then that the fight started...

What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.

This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

I should be out of the hospital next week!!

<img src="http://www.ipadforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=7564"/>

PS: iHurt!!!

Sent from my iPad 1 using iPF - Greetings

Hahahahahahaha

 

[leelai]

It all began with an iPhone...

<img src="http://www.ipadforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=7561"/>

March was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

<img src="http://www.ipadforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=7562"/>

I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

Our daughter's birthday was in August so we got her an iPod Touch.

<img src="http://www.ipadforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=7563"/>

My wife celebrated her birthday in September so I got her an iRon.

<img src="http://www.ipadforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=7560"/>

It was around then that the fight started...

What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.

This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

I should be out of the hospital next week!!

<img src="http://www.ipadforums.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=7564"/>

PS: iHurt!!!

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Yes love this one!!

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[Richard Brown]

Saw some odd signs at the sales today.

In one shop there was "Watch repairs". Then, "Cast iron sinks".

At the bus stop the live timetable stated "Countdown". To what?

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[Hayles66]

Ha ha. Rather you than me, Richard. I braved the crowds and vowed never to do it again!

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